Voldemort's Birthday
by Winter Queen
Summary: This is a funny party where Voldemort get's 8 whacky and cool presents. Read it to find out what they are!!


Voldemort's Birthday

Voldemort's Birthday

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Voldemort's mom: Honey, change your clothes. Your party guests will be here any minute.

Voldemort: But, I looked like this last year.

(The doorbell rings)

Voldemort: I'll get it!

Voldemort's mom: Wait just a second! I'll get it. You are going to your room to change your clothes, NOW! 

Voldemort: *drags his feet up the stairs to his room*

Voldemort's mom: *opens the door*

(Peter Pettigrew is standing at the door with an oddly wrapped present in his hands)

Peter Pettigrew: I'm here for the party.

Voldemort's mom: That's nice. I'll take that uh, um, gift. You can go sit in the living room.

Voldemort: *comes down the stairs* Peter!

Peter Pettigrew: Voldemort!

(The doorbell rings again)

Voldemort: *answers the door*

(Sirius is in the doorway)

Voldemort: Mom, Sirius is here!

Voldemort's mom: Okay.

Sirius: H'lo.

(Lily and James apparate into Voldemort's house holding hands)

Lily: Sorry to surprise y'all but we wanted to make a surprise entrance. *elbows James in the stomach*

James: Oof! Huh what oh yeah, uh, surprise entrance, uh-huh, yep, that's what we wanted to do.

Peter: What's with James?

Voldemort: I dunno.

(15 minutes later Dumbledore, McGonagall, Peter, Sirius, James, Lily, Malfoy, Mr. Malfoy, and Snape are at voldemort's house.)

Snape: Can you open my present first Voldemort? Huh? Huh? Can you pleeeeeeeeaaaaaase?

Voldemort: No! Avada Kedavra!

Snape: *falls down dead*

Voldemort's mom: Here open mine sweety.

Voldemort: *tears off the paper quickly* Ahh cool dude, I got a real missile! Thanks mom!

*gives his mom a hug*

Voldemort's mom: Ooooffff! *in pain*

Sirius: *handing Voldemort his present* Take mine.

Voldemort: OKAAAY!!!!!!!!! *grabs the present and opens it excitingly* YAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!! It's a book of ways to kill people!! It's what I've always wanted!!!! Thanks Sirius!!

Sirius: It was nothing really!

Lily: James and my present are obviously going to be the best as usual.

Voldemort: Then give it to me then!! *grabs the present out of Lily's hands and opens it* What is it?

Lily: Don't you just love it? It's a magical CD!

Voldemort: Who's songs are on the CD? *looks at it curiously*

Lily: It plays whatever you want whenever you want! Right James?

James: Huh? What? Oh! Yeah! It does! Yep it does! Uh-huh!

Voldemort: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Voldemort's mom: That's great honey! Now you don't need all those CD's that don't work right!

Voldemort: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dumbledore: Here's mine.

Voldemort: *shakes the present* It doesn't have any sound.

Dumbledore: You'll never guess what it is!!

Voldemort: *Rips the wrapping paper off the present* Cooool!! It's a rocket that explodes 50 feet above the ground after you shoot it into the air! Thank you!!

Lucius: Ours next! Ours next! Ours n-

Voldemort: No!

Lucius: Okay. *is mad*

Voldemort: Okay. Peter, yours next.

Peter: *hands Voldemort his present* You might not like it.

Voldemort: Oh well. *rips the messy paper off and stares at what's inside* What is it?

Peter: It's a "How To Ignite Things Kit".

Voldemort: COOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peter: *smiles* I'm glad you like it.

Malfoy: Can you open ours now?

Voldemort: Fine. *gets the present from Malfoy and starts opening it*

Malfoy: You'll love it!!!

Voldemort: I hope so. *finishes opening the present* It's okay.

(Everyone looks at the "How To Become An Animagi" book)

Lucius and Malfoy: *smile happily*

Voldemort: Okay McGonagall, I'll open yours next.

McGonagall: *hands Voldemort her gift* It was the best thing I could find.

Voldemort: *opens the present* And it's the best thing I've gotten yet!

Voldemort's Mom: Wow, honey, free seats at the Quidditch World Cup for four games!

McGonagall: And you can take any amount of people you want!

Voldemort: Wow! Thanks!

Voldemort's Mom: Now we can open Snape's present.

Voldemort: *takes present from dead body and starts opening it*

(Everyone stares at the gift)

Voldemort: It's a- it's a- it's a- pack of marbles?

All: *laugh hysterically*

(Later Voldemort thanked everyone for coming and for their gifts and the next day they buried Snape in the neighbor's backyard and everybody lived happily ever after.)

A/N: Hope you liked it.

Claimer: I own the party idea and the way snape was killed.

Disclaimer: JK owns all the HP things, Voldemort's mom owns Voldemort and the house, Voldemort now owns his presents, and the neighbors own their backyard. (but they don't own Snape's dead body)

A/N 2: Now everything is done except you reviewing, so, just follow these little arrows and then fill in the little box and if you don't review then YOU will be the next person to die at Voldemort's next party!!

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Now fill out this little box and then everything will be done. 


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